What Band 7 IELTS Writing Actually Looks Like: Annotated Examples

Most candidates stuck at Band 6 assume the problem is vocabulary. Marked scripts suggest otherwise: the recurring gap is development — ideas stated but never explained.

The pairs below show the same content at two levels. The Band 6 versions are not bad English. They are simply thin.

Pair 1 — Explaining the mechanism

Question: Some people think governments should invest more in public transport rather than building new roads. To what extent do you agree?

Band 6:

Public transport is better than roads. Buses and trains can carry many people at once. This reduces traffic. Therefore governments should invest in public transport.

Band 7:

Investment in public transport addresses congestion at its source in a way that road building does not. A single bus route running at capacity removes the equivalent of dozens of private vehicles from the same stretch of road, whereas an additional lane simply increases the number of cars the network can absorb before it saturates again. This is why cities that expand road capacity often find congestion returning within a few years at a higher absolute volume of traffic.

What changed: The Band 6 version asserts three facts. The Band 7 version explains why the mechanism works and why the alternative does not — the contrast is doing analytical work, not decoration. Same idea, taken further.

Pair 2 — One idea per paragraph

Band 6:

Technology has changed education. Students can learn online now. Also, teachers can use videos in class. However, some students become distracted by their phones. Online courses are also cheaper than universities. But not everyone has good internet access.

Band 7:

The clearest effect of technology on education has been to decouple learning from location. A student in a rural area can now take a course taught at a metropolitan university without relocating, which removes what was for most of the last century the single largest barrier to higher education: the cost of living somewhere expensive for three years. The saving is not marginal — accommodation typically exceeds tuition in many countries — and it changes who can realistically consider a degree at all.

What changed: The Band 6 paragraph contains five unrelated ideas and develops none. Coherence and Cohesion specifically asks for a clear central topic per paragraph. The Band 7 version takes one of those ideas and does something with it.

Pair 3 — Precision over rarity

Band 6:

Numerous adolescents are enthralled by ocular entertainment, which engenders detrimental ramifications for their scholastic endeavours.

Band 7:

Many teenagers spend several hours a day watching video content, and the effect on schoolwork is easy to underestimate. The problem is less the total time than its timing: the hours lost are typically the evening ones, which is exactly when homework would otherwise be done.

What changed: The first version is thesaurus output. Ocular entertainment is not English, and engenders detrimental ramifications is three words doing the work of one. Lexical Resource rewards precision and flexibility, not obscurity. The second version also adds a genuine observation.

Pair 4 — Position clarity

Question: Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Band 6 introduction:

Studying abroad is a popular topic nowadays. There are many advantages and also some disadvantages. In this essay I will discuss both sides and give my opinion.

Band 7 introduction:

Increasing numbers of students now complete part of their degree outside their home country. In my view the benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks, because the academic and linguistic gains are permanent while the main costs — expense and isolation — are temporary and to some extent manageable.

What changed: The Band 6 introduction says nothing and could open any essay. It also announces its own structure, which wastes words. The Band 7 version paraphrases the prompt, commits to a position, and previews the two reasons the body will develop. Every word is specific to this question.

Pair 5 — Cohesion without linker overload

Band 6:

Firstly, remote work saves time. Moreover, it saves money. Furthermore, it is flexible. In addition, it helps the environment. Therefore, it is beneficial.

Band 7:

Remote work removes most of the practical costs of employment at once. The commute disappears, and with it both the fare and the two hours a day that many workers spend on it; the flexibility that follows makes it possible to fit work around childcare or study in a way a fixed office schedule does not. The environmental benefit is real but secondary — it follows from the same change rather than being a separate argument for it.

What changed: The Band 6 version uses five connectives for five short assertions. The band descriptors treat mechanical overuse of cohesive devices as a weakness. The Band 7 version has two connectives and reads better, because the cohesion is carried by the shared topic and by the sentence structure. It also ranks the arguments, which is analysis.

Pair 6 — Conclusion

Band 6:

In conclusion, I think that public transport is very important and governments should invest in it. It has many advantages as I mentioned above. Also, electric cars might help in the future.

Band 7:

In conclusion, public transport investment is the better use of limited funds, because it reduces the number of vehicles competing for road space rather than temporarily increasing the space available. Road building addresses the symptom; the alternative addresses the cause.

What changed: The Band 6 conclusion introduces a new idea (electric cars), refers vaguely to "advantages as I mentioned above", and adds nothing. The Band 7 version restates the position with its reasoning compressed into one clean contrast.

The pattern across all six

How to use this

Take an essay you have already written. For each body paragraph, ask:

1. Can I state its one central idea in four words? If not, it contains more than one.
2. Where is the mechanism? Point at the sentence that explains why. If there isn't one, that is your Band 6 paragraph.
3. Count the connectives. More than three in a paragraph is usually too many.
4. Cover the body and read introduction plus conclusion. Do they agree, and do they answer the question?

Rewrite one paragraph rather than the whole essay. Fixing a single paragraph properly teaches more than producing another thin one.